Hey baby girl if you smile at me like that and keep me in close proximity to those boobies, I’ll play cheetah. I don’t give a shit, I’ll walk around all hind-legged on all fours, eat wildebeest carcass, take shits without wiping, sleep in the tall grass of the Serengeti, run fast for long distances, whatever. Actually axe that running part, running’s hard, I ain’t doing that shit. But honestly, you’re a gift from God and whatever it takes to get in your good graces, I will do.
And this little fucker shares that same sentiment. The dude just magically can speak English when a pair of knockers is dangled in front of his face. Them titties turn into Rosetta Stone. Yesterday, we have a monkey eagerly trying to peep at a pair of boobies, and today we got a cheetah cub morphing into a human being for a few seconds just to get a congratulatory pat down.
Fuck robots or aliens, we need to get these animals in check. They’re beginning to get a little too comfortable. Fuck what Sara Mclachlan says in those depressing dog commercials, we must defend our species before there’s nothing left!
Update: I have been informed that this talking cat is not a Cheetah, but a Serval cat, an African cat of the sub-Saharan region. Jeez, I was going to say, cheetahs can’t speak English!
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